I am finally home, I went to the Moose tonight and I had a few drinks with my Mom and Gramma and Grampa. It was fun, you wouldn't believe some of hte people down there. Dirty old men and drunks. But it is really fun to watch. I think. Then I had a bad experience with one old man, but I am not going to get into that right now. Anyways, I am feeling kinda tipsy so I think it is bed for me. MUAH!!! I love you Hunny! <3

I got the best news this morning. The place that i went to interveiw with hired me today. I start on Thursday the 1st. I am so excited. The pay is ok, but hell it gets me out of the house for a few hours a day. I can't wait. That means money for me. Yippiie!!!! I don't have a lot of anything planned for today I think I might just kinda jell out. Well I am done now, thought that I would share. <3

I have been in a lot of pain today, and its put me in a real bad mood. I have my wisdom teeth comming in and they are pressing against my other teeth. OWIE!!! Like big time. Then it was like nothing wanted to go my way, it just isnt fair. I think I am going to head off to bed and try and get some sleep. Night Night all. <3

Fa la la la la. La la la la!

P.S. Lisa Rocks!

So far today I haven't done a whole lot of anything. I woke up at about 8:15 to take my dog Barney to the vet, he was not liking me to much at all. But once that was all said and over with he was ok. I came home and have proceeded to do nothing. Well, my interveiw went really well yesterday, I am pretty much hired. They have to call me back for a second interveiw, so any day now I will be back to a working girl. I need to bad, I can't sitting around the house anymore, it drives me nuts. That and there are so many things I want to buy for myself. I kinda made a mistake last night with my site, in case you were wondering thats why the layout is different. But I like this one better. Lisa is going to help me fix it later and put everything back up that I had to take down. But I think that is all for now, not a lot else going on today. Except I am meeting my Grandparents to help them with something this afternoon. I love them they are just so darn cute, I want to be just like them when I get older. Ok, I love you hunny!!! MUAH!!!! <3 <3 <3

<3<3<3<3

La La La

Lisa's Birthday Was GREAT!!!! Love you GOMER!!!! MUAH<3

Well i took this quiz thing that I got form Chicken Nuggets site and go me I am in the 60's. Neato Cheato huh?

Which era in time are you?
Anyways, off to go get ready for dinner, and why don't all ya'll go and buy Lisa something for her birthdday off her Wish List. Bye, and I love you hunny. MUAH. <3

Happy 19th Birthday to Lisa!!!!! Yippie SKippie!!! Everyone go and wish her a Happy Birthday. I love you Gomer! Like way bunches. Well I think the game plan for today is to have dinner with family and then Lisa is going to have friends over cake and ice cream. It is going to be fun. As far as I know it is going to be at 7:30 or so. Well I have to get ready for my job interveiw. Yack at ya laters!

One more day until Lisa's Birthday! Yippie!!!! Not a lot of anything has gone on with me today. I woke up early and did some house work, and then at about 10 Charlie was home. He is sleeping now, so I am trying to keep busy and keep quiet. Oh and good news for me I got a call from one of hte places I applied, I have an interveiw tomorrow afternoon at 1:30, so wish me luck. It would start out past time and lead up to full time once kids start going back to school. I think it would be great. I am excited, I need money bad. I talked to Warren for a little bit last night and he is buying me some carebears. I am excited I want them all, I am such a carebear nut. I will have to take pictures and show you all. I think that is all I have to say for now. I will update later if anything interesting happens. MUAH! <3 <3

2 DAYS UNTIL LISA'S BIRTHDAY, THE BIG 19.

Well, my night was pretty much un eventful. I went to the Dugout with my Mom to meet Bighead for a drink, it was Happy Hour so two for one. Yippie for me! So I had 2 Captin Morgans and Coke, yummie stuff right there. I am such a light weight though, two of those and I was feeling no pain. I came home kinda buzzin, you know the can't feel your legs, everything is funny kinda buzzin. It was great, so I came home and ate some dinner and about an hour later I was back to normal. Oh and some more good news, I was bored so I decided to go onto Amazon.com and make myself a Wish List so if you want to buy me something go right ahead. I will love you forever. I am hoping Mindel will finish my site soon, I am so excited I am like a little kid waiting for Christmas to come. I know I am a huge dork but hey what do you expect. I owe her big time, like maybe have to buy her dinner one night and buy her a movie or something. HEHE! She is the best! I was talking to Mindy's Mom today and she is thinking about one day this week going to the mountains and having a picnic like the old days. It is so pretty up there. I would love to get married there. But I think it would be way to complicated to have everyone try and find their way up there. It is a good thought though. I am off to bed now, well maybe. Laters ya'll! <3

I forgot to tell ya, I chopped my hair off, its all short and pretty now. HEHE! MUAH! I love you hunny! <3

I am having a much better day then yesterday, I got an email from Warren and it made me feel so wat better, well kinda. But I am in a better mood. I went today and returned some job applications so hopfully I will be getting a call from someone. I need money, so bad. I have lots of bills to pay off, the sooner the better. Being in debt sucks. But yeah, I think that my Mom and I might go out tonight and have a few drinks. Maybe that will make me feel better. Well, off for now, I think Lisa has some way important stuff to do. Oh yeah, and Mindy is making a new layout for me I know it is just going to kick butt once she is done, she is just great like that. Love ya bunches Mindel. <3 <3 <3

I am so confused right now its not even funny, I have had so many things going through my head, I would swear its spinning. I am so confused about what to do with my life. I have been home for a little over a month now and things still aren't making any sence to me. When I moved here my intention was to get my life together and try and figure things out, but it seems to me that it is even more messed up then before. I have been thinking about everything lately, getting married, going back to school, making something of my life, getting a job, and moving on with things. But the more I think about getting married right now the more confused I get. I love Warren and I do want to get married some day, I am just not sure when I want that day to be anymore. I am only 21, do I really want to be tied down for the rest of my life? I feel like there is so much more out there for me that I have yet to experience. I am affraid that I am going to look back on my life 10 years from now and wonder about all the things I have missed. I have more regrets in my life right now then a normal 21 year old should. I have pressure comming form Warren's Mom and from his family to get married and start and family, but I don't want that yet. When I moved there within in weeks his Mom had pressured me to get engaged and think about getting married. In all honesty Warren and I had talked about it and yeah we were thinking about it, but now I look back and feel as though it was wasn't my decsion at all. I don't know if I want that responsibility yet of taking care of another life and of someone else. It is bad enough right now I feel like a burdon to everyone around me and I feel like I have let them all down in some way shape or form. And it is true in a lot of ways I have. I know that I will never ever live up to my step fathers expectations of me and I know that my real father never had any for me. I have a real had time looking my Mom in the face because I know what she thinks, I know she had such higher hopes for me. I think one of things that hurts me most though is I feel like I have lost some of the people closest by some of my actions. I have so many things that I just wish I could take back. It is funny the more I think about things the worse they seem to get in my head. I talked to Warren today and I couldn't even talk to him, I knew if i did I would break down and start crying. There are so many things that I am feeling and want to say to him and yet I can't seem to find the words. Its like my mind goes blank when I try. I have never in my life loved and cared for someone as much as I do for Warren, and no one has ever made me happier then he makes me and yet something isn't right. I have this over whelming hurt inside that just won't go away. Its that kinda pressure you get on your chest and makes it so you can't breathe. I cry myself to sleep most nights wondering where I messed up in my life and where things took there turn in the wrong direction. I have been trying my whole life to gain the acceptance from everyone else but myself. I look in the mirror most days and I am not hapy with the peson on both the inside and outside. But I don't know what to do to change it. I don't know where to start to turn my life around. I am beginning to think it has gone to far to turn around. More then anything I would love to be happy with myself and not worry about gaining the apporval of everyone else. I wish I could read the book of my life to see how things to turn out, to know what things are going to be like in the furture. One of my biggest fears of all time is dying alone and not ever knowing what true love feels like. I have had dreams since I can remember of dying young, I hope that they aren't something that becomes reality. I am just confused maybe my fairy God mother will come and talk to me in my sleep tonight and tell me what to do, you know like in one of those fairy tales. Well wish me happy dreams tonight. <3